MOMRadioStephaniRuperAlly Loprete runs a non-profit business directory for parents called OurMilkMoney.com. The idea behind the business was to help support other parents who are selling products you need. If you ever find yourself in need of household products, childcare services, and more, you can always go to OurMilkMoney.com and buy a product provided by a parent. Today Ally joins Rosemary to talk about how she was able to make her business succeed as a busy mom.

 

Key Takeaways:

3:50 – As a new mom, she was unhappy to send her child to daycare. She wanted to be there with her child, but she also needed the second income to support her family.

10:10 – Moms are judged for almost everything and it can be overwhelming. Mom’s need the support.

13:15 – Don’t be afraid to ask for help and look for help else where if someone is making you feel bad for it.

15:30 – Corporate American is becoming more flexible with parents because they don’t want to lose their top performers.

17:20 – Ally did it all on 6 hours a week in the beginning. Be ready to be flexible and have boundaries over your time.

22:00 – Keep in mind that childcare is considered a business expense and can be a tax write-off.

23:50 – Husband Tips; Remember to ask for help. When he asks questions about your business, don’t take it as criticism. Men are simple. Men want you to be happy.

35:50 – Ally shares some secret tips on how she used Twitter to bring up a strong following and hit 2 million listeners on her radio show.

42:25 – Ally loves Bob Proctor’s books. Loves TED talks and Abraham Hicks.

47:00 – Remember to listen to what your body needs and take care of your health.

52:15 – Don’t forgot to love your body.

 

Tweetables

I felt like I was doing a disservice to my son because I hadn’t gotten to school to be a mom. I didn’t know how to be. Tweet this!

We’re all trying to make it work and the way that we’re going to really thrive is by supporting one another. Tweet this!

Work at your own pace, create your own boundaries, and abide by them without apology. Tweet this!

 

Mentioned In This Episode:

http://ourmilkmoney.com/

http://allyloprete.com/

Ally Loprete’s free The Productivity Workbook 4 Entrepreneurs

Ally’s 4 minute reality show sizzle called – This Little Parent Stayed Home

http://thislittleparent.com

You Were Born Rich – Bob Proctor.

 

Transcription

Rosemary Nickel:

Hi this is Rosemary Nickel with Motivating Other Moms. I have Ally Loprete on the phone today and she’s an amazing incredible entrepreneurial mom. I’ve been looking over her website, listening to her radio show, watching her videos on your YouTube, and checking her Twitter and Facebook. She’s an amazing and very, very active mompreneur. Welcome Ally!

 

Ally Loprete:

Thank you so much! It’s so wonder to meet you Rosemary!

 

Rosemary:

Behind the scenes, this is what radio was like just if you guys are ever wondering, “Do I want to do my own podcast?” You gotta learn to be flexible.

 

Ally:

It’s true.

 

Rosemary:

You gotta be patient because you can end up pulling your hair out. Ally had problems with her microphone, she didn’t know it was going to be a Skype interview and then my recorder wasn’t working, you learn to be very patient and work with each other, but I appreciate you continuing to try and make an effort to make this work, so Ally thank you.

 

Ally:

That’s no problem at all. You know I really have a very important philosophy and that’s you can’t find solutions unless you first have challenges.

 

Rosemary:

Exactly and no matter great you are and how long you been doing it, things like this just happen.

 

Ally:

They sure do!

 

Rosemary:

Yeah they do. It doesn’t really matter who you are, doesn’t matter if you’re making billions of dollars, it still just happens.

 

So Ally can you share with my listeners a little a bit about your background story and why you decided to become an entrepreneurial mom.

 

Ally:

Well yeah! I think the transformation really occurred was a shocked to me. It wasn’t something that I ever expected to do, but the biggest transformation came about when I became a mom. Before I was a mom I had very different ideas of where I was headed, what I was doing. I had different intentions.

 

I was an actress, I lived in Los Angeles. I was an actress for about 10 years and then I got into the entertainment industry and I worked behind the scenes. Networks. I started really trying to climb the corporate ladders and I think I was on my way up, but at the same time, my husband and I were really ready to start a family. I know, we thought our kids were just going to fit into our lives, like a puppy. *Laughter*.

 

Remember before we actually knew what it was like to be a mom and we had these brand visions of what WE were going to do and how WE were going to be better parents, and our kids weren’t going to be obnoxious and messy and you know, we just had these big dreams of what it was like to just have a family and have them how they were going to fit right into our lives. Well, I think for so many of us everything changed.

 

We transformed. Our own priorities changed and when I went on maternity leave for the birth of my first son, I was absolutely sick to my stomach about going back to work. It wasn’t something that I’d expected. I had planned on going to work, I was researching childcare, and I was getting prepared, but the reality was there was no childcare that I really liked. But, we couldn’t lose my second income. You know, that was that second income. We needed my income survive as a family and so I did end up going back to work and it was one of the worst years of my life. I no longer wanted to climb corporate ladders, I no longer wanted to make my employer my top priority. I had a baby at home who was being raised in a childcare that I wasn’t even very comfortable with. I felt very trapped.

 

Someone must have heard my prayers, whatever you believe in, higher power or not, I actually lost my job. Strange turn of events. It was a scary time, but most of those things that happened turned out to be blessings. I was able to survive at home and a little bit of unemployment, a little bit of severance, we worked out that I could probably survive for about a year or two and that would give me some time to figure out how I could make it work.

 

I came home and really, my vision began to shift. How many moms are in my place? How many feel that they shouldn’t have to choose between a career and their kids, but they still need to put food on the table, they still need to have a roof over their head. How can they be the best mom possible when they’re being torn and they’re struggling. The balancing act is not always easy, so I created OurMilkMoney.com, which 8 years later is now the largest business directory for self-employed parents across the world in over 120 cities and tens of thousands members. We are operating as a non-profit. From there, that really became my new passion. How can we make this work?

 

Rosemary:

I love your concert for OurMilkMoney.com. What were some of the first steps when you thought about putting this together. What were some of the first steps you took to kind of make this happen and how long did it take you to really kind of get it off the ground?

 

Ally:

Well, that’s a great question and actually, wow, I was such a novice. I was so green, I had no idea, I never..I was not a business owner, I did not think of myself as someone who entrepreneurial. I did not at all think I was business savvy. Turns out, 8 years later, I’m all of those things. *Laughter*. I did have another business partner who was another mom in the neighborhood and we came up with this concept to really reach out and help other moms who were struggling the way that we were. The idea came about, one of the first things that I tried to do to bring in an extra income was to make jewelry and to sell at trade shows.

 

I remember when I was making a necklace and I was trying to price it and I was thinking, “You know, somebody might purchase this necklace for about $50 in a catalog or they might purchase it in a department store. $50.” and then I started thinking about what $50 would mean to my family and that $50 would pay for formula for two weeks, that $50 I could make dinners for my entire family for the entire week. Moms know how to stretch $50.

 

I thought that $50 was so much more valuable in my pocket than it is being funneled through a payroll for a major department store. I thought, you know, I don’t want to take money out of the department store, but I do want to do is show the value of the money we are spending and I thought, I’m going to make a pact with myself that I’m going to try and spend my hard earned dollars by giving it to a parent. Whatever I need to spend my money on, shampoo, household products, anything, I’m going to see if there’s a parent that’s selling it. It’s more valuable being funneled through our own system and that’s how OurMilkMoney.com was born.

 

Rosemary:

Well, I think that’s fantastic and I think that’s kind of fantastic and I think that most women or moms who become entrepreneurial moms have never been a business person, never saw this coming, but are in the same positions you and I and it was we had our kids, never thinking that we would want to be stay-at-home parents, but you have them and it’s like all of a sudden the world does shift. It’s amazing what our children and how our dreams change can help us re-create who we are.

 

Ally:

That’s exactly right. I mean like what I said, I had no problem leaving my child at home with a daycare provider or with a childcare provider. I had no problem doing that until I met him, until I met my baby and, Oh! You need me, you need your mommy, you don’t need a nanny. It doesn’t mean that’s no right for somebody else, I do know a lot of women who stayed in the working for and they did hire wonderful nannies who became amazing parts of their family and that worked out just fine for them.

 

So I’m not necessarily against that. What I found was that there were more of us that said, “This doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel right to me.” And so I think that as moms, that more than reading any books or listening to whatever anybody tells you what you should be as a mom the only person that you should be listening to is yourself.

 

You should really be trusting your maternal instinct. If your instinct says, “Oh my child is going to flourish in a daycare and that’s appropriate for our family,” then trust that instinct. If your instinct says, “No my child needs to me with me, he needs to be with his mother.” Trust that. I think that’s really why I wanted this to be an option for those of us who felt really strongly about staying home with their kids, but didn’t know how to fund that lifestyle.

 

Rosemary:

Yeah, I couldn’t agree more about following your instinct and your gut. It becomes along with becoming a mom and there’s so many moms that place judgment on other moms about what they feed their kids, how they live their life, whether they have a babysitter, whether they have a nanny. You’re bad for having a nanny, you’re bad for not having a nanny. It’s like, *Laughter*. So that’s one of the reasons why I started Motivating Other Moms to have a place for moms who can actually talk about life without being judged for their decisions. For following their gut, for what’s right for the family. Some kids really do thrive in preschool or school and some kids don’t and for a parent..

 

Ally:

Yeah.

 

Rosemary:

..to follow that gut and know what’s right for their family at that time in their life and know that they can change it. You know kudos to all of you that are brave enough to do that.

 

Ally:

Moms are up against a lot now-a-days. There’s a much more societal pressure about what we’re suppose to be and what is expected of us. It’s very, very hard. I think I’m more of an advocate for parents, for moms. I really feel for the moms who are feeling blamed, who are feeling shamed. I felt that way. When I first got start I didn’t know what I was doing either.

 

I remember actually saying to my husband and perhaps this is part of the postpartum, which I believe what we all get, at least a little bit of, and I remember saying to him, “Should we give him,” I’m talking about my baby, “Should we give him to somebody that knows what they’re doing.” And at the time, I was sobbing. I didn’t want to give my child away, but I felt like I was doing a disservice to him because I hadn’t gotten to school to be a mom. I didn’t know how to be. I didn’t know how to help this crying child who was kind of a handful.

 

At the time, I was feeling blamed and shamed by all the moms who saw me on the playground who had children who were much quieter, who weren’t struggling as much. I thought there was something wrong with me and that felt terrible to me. So one of the things like what you were saying, I think that it’s really important that we show moms there’s really no room to blame and shame. There’s really no room for that.

 

All of our kids are different, we’re all trying to make it work and the way that we’re going to really thrive is by supporting one another, having acceptance, and being there for one another. You know, try this, this worked for me, but not you’re bad, you’re wrong, you’re incapable. I think moms really tend to beat themselves up and when you’re in that frame of mind, when you’re scared; when you’re fearful, when you’re beating yourselves up for not being enough, that’s when you’re not thriving, that’s when things get worse; that’s when it becomes more difficult to manage everything that you’re trying to manage.

 

Rosemary:

Yeah, I couldn’t agree more with you. I too had postpartum depression and I had to make that choice of allowing somebody else to step in and help take care of my kids and do what I couldn’t do for them. So kudos for you and any moms that are listening out there. If you’re struggling and if you have a newborn, you’re tired, and you think it’s normal to be tired; you are suppose to be tired, but to a certain extent you’re not suppose to be tired. It’s kind of hard to figure it out, but really just ask for help and don’t be ashamed.

 

If you’re in an community where people are taking care of their own kids, if you have to put your kids in preschool or if you have to bring in help, don’t ever be ashamed because in every part of our journey somewhere along the way we’re going to need to ask for help.

 

Ally:

Absolutely.

 

Rosemary:

Asking for help is being strong and is not a sign of weakness.

 

Ally:

I’ll also add to that, because I think that’s a great piece of advance, always ask for help, but if you’re not getting help or if you’re getting help in a way that makes you feel bad, if somebody is making you feel like you’re not okay or you’re not capable, then ask for help to somebody else. Don’t be surround yourself with people who are going to make you feel bad about yourself.

 

Rosemary:

Exactly. Great piece of advance. So could you tell me a little bit about how OurMilkMoney.com actually operates and helps parents?

 

Ally:

Yeah, OurMilkMoney.com is really a business directory that caters to the services of self-employed parents and it’s not just parents, we have made exceptions for anyone who is a care taker and I don’t mean furry pets, that’s where we sort of draw the line. If you’re a caretaker for your elderly parents or if you’re a foster parent, anything that allows you to bring in an income, generate an income with the flexibility of putting your family first, then you’re eligible to list yourself on OurMilkMoney.com. It’s actually an international business directory where the concept is, if you’re going to buy something, take a look, try and find a parent and give it to them, whatever it is. Mascara. Like I said, any household products, anything you can think of. There’s even local farmers that are selling on OurMilkMoney.

 

We don’t earn a commission, it’s a non-profit site. We accept donations, but it’s a free membership and anybody who wants to fill out a form, as long as you fit the criteria of being a self-employed caretaker, your profile will be approved and that could actually help your business. This was really started when the recession was really in it’s infancy and people were really, really struggling and I thought, “You know, we can’t..I don’t know if that we can really fix the economy, but we can create our own.”

 

We’re just passing our money back and forth, then it doesn’t matter what’s happening in the rest of the world. We always know that our businesses are going to thrive because we understand the value of purchasing from a self-employed parent. It’s the way we flux our consumer power. That was 8 years ago, but things are really different now. In a much more positive way. There’s more self-employed parents out there, there’s many more home-based businesses.

 

This concept of really supporting one another is booming. In fact, it’s really starting to trickle over into corporate America. Now corporate America is starting to realize that they’re not losing their top talent to their competition. They’re losing their top talent to self-employment, which means if they want to keep a lot of their best talent on their payroll, then they’re going to have to abide by some of their needs. That’s not necessarily more pay. It used to be more pay, more benefits, more bells and whistles, but really want the parents are wanting right now is more flexibility.

 

They don’t want to have to report in at certain times, they don’t want to have to work in an office. They want to be able to put their families first. Attend t-ball games, take their kids to dance practice, and not have to apologize for it or hide it. Employers are starting to get on-board. In fact some of the biggest corporations are starting to use virtual consultants for that reason, so it really has taken on a life of its own. It’s become a very exciting time.

 

Rosemary:

It is a very exciting time. One of my passion is helping families create a life that they truly love and I find that when we become entrepreneurial moms, we do have a big dream of what it’s going to look like and it’s again, it’s kind of like parenting. It’s never what you think it’s going to be.

 

What has been some of the challenges for you balancing your family time and your business time, because you are in a lot of different places, how do you get it all done and still have that quality time that you wanted when you started your business?

 

Ally:

Well first of all, I had to say, this is one of my favorite questions, because this is probably one of the biggest challenges for a lot of the mompreneurs that I’ve been working with and I did not, it was not something I knew how to do right from the get-go. I struggled a lot in the beginning, but I will say that I do have it down now. I actually grew my business through my radio show, through my brand, everything that I have, my coaching practice in about 6 hours a week. I only had 6 hours that I could count on and those were 6 hours where I could afford to put my youngest in preschool. Tuesday/Thursday mornings for three hours, that was it. That was all I had.

 

Now, you know, sometimes there would be a play date and I would get some extra work time. Sometimes my husband would come home and I’d be able to get some extra work done at night. I had a smartphone so I could multitask while there were at a sports practice, but for the most part, my 6 hours were all that I could count on to grow my business and I need those 6 hours work in a productive fashion than most people who are going to corporate America make 40 hours. What I was able to accomplish in those 6 hours with sheer focus, sheer strategic work, would blow everybody’s mind.

 

Everybody said, “how are you doing it?” and I said, I turn off my phone. Those 6 hours belonged to me. I’ve structured those 6 hours to make sure that there’s my money making hours. If anybody wants to call me or schedule time with me, they’d have to pay for it, because I already paid for that childcare. Those 6 hours were the times where I’d took on my clients, they were not times where I was poking around on Facebook or doing researching or writing a blog, they were the times I knew I could count on without interruption 99.9% of the time.

 

Now, 8 years later, both my kids are in school. They’re both in elementary school and all of a sudden, I have 35 hours a week, which is something I’d…It’s like more valuable time to me than money. You know, having this kind of time during the day to actually grow my business is such a treat, but I didn’t have it for 8 years. I think the most important thing is to work at your own pace and create your own boundaries, create your own policies, and you have to abide by them without apology.

 

If somebody wants to get you on the phone, you need to ask yourself, “Is this going to serve a purpose for me?” If not, I can’t take this call during the time where I’m suppose to be making money. If I’m suppose to be bringing in cash, if I needed to create something, if I needed to spend some time on my website, I would have to crave out that time on the weekends or I would arrange for a play date or something else, those were extra things.

 

It took time to really structure my day-to-day. It took time to really figure out what I could do and what I couldn’t do and how I could do it around my kids and Oph! That’s not something I could ever do around my kids, so that has to be something that I have to structure for a different time, but the most important thing is you’re the boss and you’re the one that’s going to structure it.

 

You can’t improve upon a system if you don’t have problems. So a lot of these challenges are really just blessing in disguise. They’re an opportunity for you to create something that does work for you and does for your family. You do need to remain flexible, because your family is ever changing. There’s schedules with my husband, his schedules ever-changing, My kids, their schedules are changing, sometimes they nap, sometimes they don’t. You have to be able to put your family first and all those other hours, whether it’s 6 hours a week or 10 hours a week or 2 hours a week, whatever time you have to count on as your time, you need to be able to structure that in a way that is most productive and effective for you.

 

Rosemary:

I think those are excellent tips. How long did it take you to figure that the time you had, the 6 hours a week that you had, needed to be used for bringing in money for your business?

 

Ally:

Gosh! Well, in the beginning there were lots of challenges and I don’t mean little ones, big ones! There were fights between my husband and I, there were times were I felt like he wasn’t really understanding the value of my time. He does now and we’re an amazing team, but we had to go through that. I remember bringing him..it was almost like a proposal. I brought him a proposal and I said, “Listen, I can’t get anything done unless I have at least some childcare in place, not all of it in place, but I think it’s time for us to consider preschool.”

 

I’m a big advocate for preschool. There was a preschool down the street, which I loved and was really a wonderful thing for both of my boys. We took the smallest package. It was all that we could afford, you know, I wasn’t bringing in an income, but I said, “You know, I think that if my goal is to just cover the cost of childcare..” I think it came to about $250 a month for 6 hours a week. I said, “If my first goal is to bring in $250 a month, I think that’s a really obtainable thing to shoot for.”

 

That was my goal, was always making sure to have at least that cover, so that we were never out of pocket. In fact, childcare is considered a business expense and taxis, you know! You can consider those things. Once I realized that I had to really crave out my time to make sure I was covering that childcare costs, I knew that those 6 hours had to be my money making hours and that’s where I scheduled the clients that were willing to pay for that time.

 

Rosemary:

I’m glad you mentioned that your husband and you were having a difficult time, because that’s gonna be my questions. I always like to try and get the inside scoop of what really happens, because I think what happens on social media, everything looks really good and a lot of entrepreneurial moms go, “How’d they do it? Their relationship looks so perfect and everything looks so perfect. I’m over here struggling, is it just me? What’s wrong with me?” Yet we all go through these seasons of learning and part of that also involves our relationship with our spouses.

 

What were some of the takeaways that you could provide to my listeners that may be struggling with their spouse and trying to get their business off the ground?

 

Ally:

Well, first of all, I talk about this on my show all the time, I’m a huge advocate for the husbands. I really am. In fact, I have a lot of callers that would call in and the first thing that they wanna do is complain about their husbands and it’s not that I’m not going to support..you know, to support whatever feelings you’re having. They’re certainly valid and we go through a lot of the same challenges, but the first thing that I’m going to do is I’m going to help you understand his perspective. I think that’s very important.

 

In fact what I have found, for the most part, it’s our husbands that are really simple and pretty sane. We are the complicated ones. We’re the ones that make things a little bit more difficult because we have the big visions, we are creative, and we are also very fragile. Lots of tips here. First of all, if you need something from your husband, you have to tell him. You can’t expect him to read your mind. Second of all, if your husband is saying things to you like, “How are you going to make money?” That seems to be a pretty big question that comes up a lot. How are you going to make money? When are you going to make money?

 

Very often our fragile spirit as women, we hear that and we think, “He doesn’t believe I can make money. This is a criticism. He doesn’t find me valuable.” And that’s actually not true. Most of the time, men are simply asking, “How are you going to make money?” And it is that simple.

 

If you go back to our basic human instincts, as men, their instinct is to provide. They want to make sure when they have offspring that they’re provided for. Women want to make sure that their offspring are nurtured. That’s our basic maternal instinct. Those instincts were created by whatever higher power, who ever brought us here, those things were brought together for the basic human interactive family so that it could thrive.

 

So when he’s saying, “How are you going to make money?” He’s only thinking of how are we going to provide, I need to make sure that is covered. Not saying that he doesn’t believe that you can, he’s just questioning how and when so that he can feel comfortable with all of the things that you are throwing at him. I’m not going back to work, I have a big idea for a company, I want to take our life savings and invest in it. All of those things that impose on his need to want to provide for his family.

 

The other thing is to have patience. Your husband is your partner, you need to run things by him. He’s your team. Your family is your team. I have to say, I see a lot of couples that really go through struggles and that’s okay, that’s part of it. Anytime you launch anything new, you’re going to have a little bit of a hiccup or a lot of hiccup. You’re going to have a lot of roadblocks. You’re going to have a lot of relationships that are a little conflicted, that is part of it.

 

You need to know going in that there’s going to be struggle, but take some time to listen, take some time to make sure you’re communicating with your spouse and letting them know what your plan is, ask them their advice, tell them that you really are counting on them, depending on them, and also positive words go along way with our husbands.

 

Saying things like, “I couldn’t do this without you. I know this is a very scary time. I know that I’ve throw a wrench in the works here, but I am so grateful that I have a partner that believes in me. Thank you.” And whether or not you really feel like he’s actually giving you that kind of support, just by saying those words, you’d be surprised at how many of our husbands would actually rise to the occasion and be exactly what we need for them to be for us.

 

Rosemary:

Yeah, I couldn’t agree more. That’s one of those things that I learned early on when I started. Again, it kind of goes back to asking for help and when I had postpartum depression of trying to handle it all myself without asking him and not telling him what’s going on, expecting him to read my mind, and I felt kind of helpless. Husbands are amazing. They are our biggest cheerleaders, our biggest advocates if we allow them to be. I find that often we, as women, do not allow them to be that for us.

 

Ally:

Yeah, we just assume that they don’t understand us and a lot of the times they don’t. A lot of times they don’t, but you’re right, they feel helpless. I will tell you another little secret that I’ve learned through the years working with so many couples. Men, they want one thing, one thing, and it’s to keep you happy. That’s it!

 

Rosemary:

Yes, yes.

 

Ally:

Isn’t that amazing? That’s the most…that’s it! That’s the simplest thing that we’re working towards, then all you have to do is let him know that he is contributing to your happiness and if he is, he’s going to keep contributing to your happiness. That’s what makes him feel like he’s doing a good job and it’s a very small price to pay for everything that we’re asking them to do.

 

Rosemary:

It’s amazing and that’s something I do see is that they will try to do…You know, go to the ends of the earth just to keep you happy. It amazes me. It’s kind of like us with our children, they love us enough that they’ll do anything and a lot of times they try to help and we’ll shoot them down. We take it personally or we take what they’re saying personally or figure it’s a different meaning and then it just gets lost in translation when they’re just trying to help make us happy.

 

Ally:

That’s exactly right. You’re right. I hate to see when couples are fighting, but I think it’s normal. I don’t think fighting is necessarily a bad thing. We are a family that doesn’t hold back when we’re angry, when we have feelings, when we have something to say when something isn’t going our way, but one thing is for certain and that’s that we are always working towards a solution. All of us are on the same page as far as wanting to get to that solution. The fighting doesn’t hurt so much, we are not divided. We are absolutely unified, even when we’re just agreeing on something. The unity is still there. Our goal is to stay together and make it work.

 

Rosemary:

It is fantastic. On the money side of it, the reason why men our asking is men are thinking results only that’s the way their mind things. And women, it’s like you said, you turn off your Facebook, you turn off everything and focus on your business, but as women, it’s really hard to kind of train yourself to get to that point where as men are just, they’re knocking it out and they’re making it happen because they have to provide. They have that need to provide and we don’t necessarily have that naturally.

 

Ally:

Well, I’m glad you brought that up because women are multitasks and that can work to our benefit, but it can also be a detriment. You need to really know as a business owner, there’s a time to multitasks and a time to focus on just one thing at a time.

 

Multitasking, here’s some ideas of great ways to multitask. Keeping your child entertained and doing laundry. Keeping your child entertained and going grocery shopping. Those kinds of things. You can make grocery shopping really fun, pointing out shapes and colors and, you know, can you help me put this in the basket? Those kind of things. Laundry, you can make that fun. Can you show me, can you point our a shirt, can you point out a towel? Ooh, that’s a big shirt, that goes in daddy’s pile.

 

There’s ways to keep that multitasking going, but when it comes to working and you need that sheer concentration and that focus where you’re going effectively bring in results every single time, you can’t be sidetracked. You can’t be distracted with the laundry, the phone, and all the other things, especially if you’re going to make a very small time frame work for you like 6 hours a week. It’s very hard to get a lot done in that time unless you have that complete and total focus.

 

Rosemary:

You have on your website a free offer, “The productivity Workbook for Savvy Entrepreneurs.” Does this free offer include how to do that?

 

Ally:

Actually, that is a wonderful workbook that I just worked out for..I had so much need for this workbook. The listeners of my show were constantly asking me to provide a lot of the tools that I had used to keep me organized, to keep me on track and on task, so I just ended up putting together this compilation of those templates.

 

There’s sales trackers, there’s sales sheet, there’s progress trackers, there’s calenders, there’s just ways that I have found that helped me stay on task during those busy times every week. You can absolutely use my templates, you can take, that’s what the workbook is, you can take the template and make photocopies and you can use them however you need to or you can just use them as an example of how to create your own. I found this is the one thing that most people are in need of, seeing how someone else organizes their time.

 

What works for me, might work for you, but it might not. Your children are difficult. Every child is difficult. Everybody has a different schedule. They have a different husband with a different schedule. A lot of these things I have found for women who are here during the day with the minimal amount of time, this workbook will definitely benefit you at least in a few ways.

 

Rosemary:

And you can find that workbook at http://allyloprete.com/ and that would be on my website with the show notes. I think that’s a great thing because every entrepreneurial mom, every mom period, has to deal with time, so being able to handle your time to benefit you, your business, and your family the most is just priceless.

 

I want to talk to you about your Twitter. I was reading somewhere in my research for you that you post over..you were looking for something that could handle all of your posting and manage all of your stuff for Twitter, but you were originally posting over 3,000 posts a day manually a day. Seriously?

 

Ally:

Yeah. Well, I was for a while. I actually do have a software that does it for me now. It’s funny, I am a mom entrepreneur and I am a mom business coach and my brand is that I am an advocate for moms. That’s what my radio show is, I have two million listeners, the TV show is going to be coming out sometime this year, so that’s my brand. I am the advocate for moms and dads who wanna bring their careers home.

 

However, there’s another part of me that actually has been, that I don’t really advertise as much, the podcasting community wanted to know how I built my following, how did I get two million listeners, how did I landed myself on iHeart radio, and that really came from a code that I cracked on Twitter, where I learned how to drive traffic.

 

It’s kind of a funny story, when I first started my podcast four years ago and my show is no longer a podcast, it’s an actual radio show now. But at the time, somebody heard me and it was a television producer and was interesting in bringing me to the Oprah Winfrey network as a pitch for a reality show and they loved it! We just kept pitching to executive teams and we kept going up and up and up all the way up to Oprah herself an I kept waiting for the rejection, but it never came.

 

Eventually, we did get a soft rejection that said, we love you, we love the concept, we love everything that you’re teaching, but we can’t wrap our minds around the fact that you only had 800 people listening to your podcast. And I was really proud of my 800! I worked hard to get that 800, but they were looking for somebody in the thousands and in the tens of thousands.

 

I knew that if I had 800 people, then I obviously had a good product. I believed in my product so much that I sort of adopted the philosophy that I rather beg for forgiveness than ask for permission and I didn’t care how I got the people to listen to my show, I just knew I needed to get them there, and I was going to trust that there were going to fall so deeply in love with my message and my show that they were going to forgive me for spamming them or forgive me for how I got them there, how I manipulated that process. I really found that on Twitter. I discovered a way to really captivate my ideal demographic on Twitter and from there, there was one night where I sort of cracked this code and I ended up with 1,000 downloads in one night.

 

The owner of the podcast network that I had been on at the time, called me the next day and said, “I don’t know what you did, but now I need you to train everybody.” And I ended up training over 200 radio show hosts and I took that particular network from I think 200,000 downloads a month collaboratively to 4.5 million, just by teaching people my method.

 

From there, at that point, I was getting about 60,000 downloads a show and that’s when I was recruited by ClearChannel and they put me on iHeart and now I’m over 2 million. I still do my tweets, it’s still part of my process. I used to do it manually, I think it’s really important that you start manually before you automate anything, but it is automated now. I do use a software that automates my tweets for me. I am no longer setting up 3,000 tweets. I think I’m up to 8,000 a day.

 

Rosemary:

8,000 tweets a day??

 

Ally:

Yeah.

 

Rosemary:

I have such a thing with Twitter. I’m a Facebook person and I have a hard time with Twitter and I know I need to embrace the wonderful Twitter world.

 

Ally:

Well, Rosemary. I’ll tell you and any other podcasters out there that I don’t broadcast that I am a Twitter coach very often, so this is sort of…You’re kind of getting the inside scoop here, however you work for one hour with me and not only will you understand Twitter on a whole new level then you ever expect, but you will see your numbers increase dramatically in the hour that you work with me or your money back. I have an absolute guarantee. I can take anybody from just a few listens a week to several thousands and these are not fake numbers, these are your primary target demographic. We go out and I teach you through Twitter how to find the people who would resonate your show and fall in love with you and your message.

 

Rosemary:

How much time does it take you to do 3,000 manual entries a day.

 

Ally:

Oh, I never did 3,000 manual entries a day. No, no, no.

 

Rosemary:

Oh, okay.

 

Ally:

I only did about 100 a day and you know, that’s part of my Twitter method, so I’ll show you how to do it. It only took me about 10-15 minutes.

 

Rosemary:

That’s what I was looking for. Show them how much time you went from manually doing it to now how you’re doing. How much time you invested.

 

Ally:

I would say it took me, it takes me an hour once a week. I only have an hour show and I go back and listen to my show and I create Tweets based on that show. It takes me an hour to get through the entire show and really understand my message, then the rest of the week I’m re-tweeting pass shows. Those tweets have already been created.

 

Rosemary:

Yeah, I was just trying to figure out for our listeners how much time you would save them with your program, so that’s fantastic.

 

Ally:

Yeah so, to just give you an idea, in the beginning when you’re working manually and like I said, I really recommend doing it manually for at least a couple of weeks. It does take up some more time, but I think it’s important you understand the process. This is the way you’re engaging with your followers and the people on Twitter. You really need to understand the process. It’s going to help you get better. Once you understand the process, you can automate it really easily, but when you’re working manually, an hour a week, once a week, and then about 20 minutes every other night. It’s the last thing I do before I go to bed, I send out a bunch of tweets manually.

 

That was really the time commitment when you’re working manually, but again, now I set it in motion and I check in with it once a week. I don’t do anything.

 

Rosemary:

So, we’re really close to the end. One of the questions I want to ask you, you were an actress and you were really high up the chain, all the way up to Oprah, was being an actress and understanding how all of that worked, did that help you with that process or did it just kind of naturally happen?

 

Ally:

I think so. It’s amazing. The entertainment industry is such a beast. It’s different than any other industry. It’s really cut throat, it’s like a different breed, there’s a different language that you speak. In fact, I think anyone in the entertainment industry, if they were to go any place else in the world to get a job, they would flourish, because it’s so cut throat and so difficult. At the time, I didn’t really see any of that. I just knew it to be a struggle.

 

Now that I am where I am, I have agents, and managers; and directors, and produces, and I have a production company, I have all these people that are wanting to work with me now, because of the brand that I have created and the television show that’s about to launch. I really do have to say that I feel really good that I know how it works, I know how to handle these people, I know how to deal with them, and it does make a really big difference.

 

Rosemary:

So let’s talk a little bit about your show that’s about to launch. Can you tell us a little bit about that and when it’s going to launch and where they can find it?

 

Ally:

Well, we don’t know where it’s going to launch yet. I have to apologize my phone is ringing in the background. Well, we don’t know exactly which network right now. You can find the sizzle for the reality show, it’s also called This Little Parent Stayed Home. It’s a 4 minute sizzle, it’s fantastic. We worked all year on it. I have a fantastic production team.

 

We’re in the process of pitching it to networks. There’s a lot of interest from different cable networks including the Oprah Winfrey network. It’s just a matter choosing the network that most matches our purpose and our intention, so I don’t really have a launch date yet, but all of that information will be seen on http://allyloprete.com/. You can also find all that information on http://thislittleparent.com if you wanna stayed informed on when that show launches just stay in touch with me. I’m a master marketer, so I make sure to get that information to anybody who ever wants it.

 

Rosemary:

That’s awesome. So in closing I’d like to find out what book are you reading right now or what book would you recommend mom’s read? It doesn’t have to be business either, because we all read a lot of business and don’t take time for causal reading.

 

Ally:

That is a big problem, I agree. In fact, I’m constantly struggling with my husband. He’s always saying, “Why don’t you read for fun?” and I say I can’t! There’s too much information out there that I want to fill my head with. Yeah, that can be a problem. The books that I have really been into lately, I’ve been loving Bob Proctor. He wrote You Were Born Rich. I’ve also been really into, this isn’t reading, but I’ve really been into TED talks lately and Abraham Hicks. She’s been around for a while, but I can’t get enough of Abraham Hicks. That really seems to be fueling me the most lately.

 

Rosemary:

Yeah, Abraham Hicks is fantastic so is Bob Proctor. You can get a free email from Bob Proctor everyday and it’s an inspirational message, short inspirational message. Look that up if you’re looking for a way to get inspired each and every day. It’s a good way to be inspired is through him.

 

And what is your favorite junk food?

 

Ally:

Ohhh. Well. I haven’t had junk food in quite awhile, I’ve been on a pretty rigid, I don’t want to say diet, but I want to just say, it’s my new way of life, so when I want to cheat, I have sugar-free whipped cream. I know that sounds really strange, but I don’t typically have sugar or carbs, so when I really need something I will go and take sugar-free whipped cream and I’ll freeze it. *Laughter*. You know, you spray it out of the can in like a little swirl and you put it in the freezer for, oh gosh, maybe 20 minutes and it comes out tasting like ice cream. It’s my most favorite it.

 

Rosemary:

Wow, that’s pretty cool actually. I know a lot of people doing that and it does make a big difference. It goes along with your health and having a clear mind to be able to produce and live the live the life you do, you gotta have that in order to make it.

 

Ally:

Yeah. You definitely, I would agree. You have to pay attention to what is, what your body is telling you it needs. Very often I will, I’ll need, I’m always craving protein, but it depends on what kind of protein. Sometimes I really don’t want to eat that piece of chicken, but you know, a handful of almonds just sounds delectable. I’m just always paying attention to what my body wants. We’re a team too. My body and I.

 

Rosemary:

Yes, they are! How long have you been doing this? Eating like this? How long has it been since you’ve changed your lifestyle around food?

 

Ally:

I would say on and off for about three or four years. Whenever I tell people what I eat they go, “Ahh, I could survive that way.” And I know that they could, because I have and it’s become easy. It’s become like clockwork. It’s no problem. It was definitely a shift and it took a lot of research and it took a lot of understanding. I’m a huge disciplined freak and I have a lot of tenacity. Any program you want to put me on I commit 100%, if not 200%, but the problem with me is I was doing all of these plans and committing, and it just wasn’t working.

 

Weight just wasn’t coming off the way it was suppose to. It was really frustrating for me for many, many years. Probably most of my life, it just felt very unfair that I had to struggle this way when I wasn’t an over eater, when I wasn’t making poor choices, and I wasn’t sitting in front of the TV with a bag of potato chips, and I don’t go through McDonald’s drive through. When people say things like…When people see that you have some weight to lose, they assume that you’re making poor choices like that and that wasn’t the case for me.

 

It wasn’t an easy solution. I couldn’t cut out the soda, I couldn’t cut out the McDonald’s, I couldn’t cut out the potato chips, there was nothing to cut out. For me, it really just became a long, long process of researching what’s right for me, fighting with doctors and nutritionists, lots of tears, to figuring out this is what works. Believe me, it doesn’t fall off me the way it should. I’m lucky to lose 8 pounds a year. It’s a very slow process. I am proud I can commit and it’s something my body has thanked me for it actually. I feel more productive and more alert, and more capable on taking on the things that I have to, because I have sort of listened to what my body’s been telling me it needs.

 

Rosemary:

Good for you and I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been on the same journey, there’s a little bump in the road right now, I’m bringing myself back on track, but I’ve been through the same journey of where I was doing what was supposedly the right thing that everybody was doing, not fad diets or anything like that, nothing was happening.

 

I had to really go on that long journey and asking doctors and finding holistic doctors and nutritionists and finding what was right for my body. I think that’s a great message for anybody who’s out there struggling. One, don’t give up. Two, just keep on researching and make sure it’s for yourself. You are one of a kind and that includes how you eat and how you take care of your body.

 

Ally:

And you know, I’ll probably tell you the biggest thing that I learned in this process is something very simple that I think anybody can really, really apply to their own situation, whatever their struggles are, and it is a mindset. It wasn’t what I was eating necessarily, it wasn’t necessarily that this was bad or that was bad or..There’s so many confusing, conflicted opinions about what’s good for us and what’s bad for us, but the one thing that I discovered is that the mindset generally, “I’ve been bad and now I need to punish my body.” We usually go into diets like, “Ahhh! I’ve eaten so much over the holidays. I’ve eaten So Much and now it’s time to go on a diet.” As if it’s a punishment.

 

You know, I remember reading somewhere I think in Abraham Hicks or something where it occurred to me that if I’m treating my body as if it needs to be punished, then it’s going to fight back. If I’m treating my body like I love it, and I’m nurturing it, and I’m feeding it healthy foods, not because I’m angry at it, but because I love it and I want it to be healthy! Then eventually, my body is going to respond with the same kind of love and support.

 

What I have found is that if I do..You know, we went on vacation this past year and we went to the Boardwalk in Jersey City and gosh, it was cotton candy and you know, ice cream, you name it! I didn’t want to deprived myself of that, but what I found was that I couldn’t eat it. I was allowing myself to, but I couldn’t. I felt like my body was crying and saying, “What are you doing? What are you giving this me to? I don’t like this, this is hurt for to me.”

 

It’s amazing how once I shifted my mindset into giving my body what it really needs to love me and give back to me and being grateful to my body for being pretty healthy all these years. It may not look the way I wanted it to look, but for the most part, it’s a great body! It works! The systems work. I needed to show it some gratitude rather anger and when I shifted that, that’s ultimately where all my hard work started to pay off. It became a much easier process.

 

Rosemary:

I think one of the greatest gifts that I have been able to give myself is being able to stay in front of the mirror naked and really look at myself and I say, “I love you.”

 

Ally:

That’s not an easy thing to do, but you know..

 

Rosemary:

No.. *Laughter*.

 

Ally:

But you’re willing to actually go to that level, that is a boundary that if you push pass that uncomfortable zone there, you’re going to be rewarded by it. Absolutely. You know, it doesn’t have to be the shape of your body and, “Oh, look at my fat arms and my thighs.” We do that, we tend to do that, but now, like you, I’ll look at my body and I’ll look at my belly, which is probably a little bigger than what I want, but I hold on to it and I embrace it. I say, “Thank you! You helped me birth my children.” This big belly came from an amazing uterus. Thank you. These wrinkles on my face have come from years of smiling. Thank you. Really starting to love it rather than feel annoyed or angry or dissatisfied with what your body has given you. You show it love and it will show love back to you.

 

Rosemary:

It definitely will. For those of you who that are going, “Those women are crazy, there is no way..!” I could not either. It is really, really, really hard to be in front of the mirror and do that, but if you do it and if you do it everyday for…What’s the..30 days is the way to break a habit?

 

Ally:

I think it’s 21, but yep!

 

Rosemary:

21 days. Just look at yourself, really force yourself to stand there and take a minute a day, it doesn’t have to mean you need to stand there for an hour or even 10 minutes, just even take one minute to look at yourself, because we go through life as women and we do not even look at ourselves in the mirror.

 

Ally:

You know, life really is changing. If you see all of these amazing pictures of new models that are not being adjusted and Huffington Post is really starting a new campaign of real beauty and real love. If you really kind of get on board with that, you will see your real body, what you deem as imperfect and oddly shaped or whatever it is, is actually to contributing to the trend. You have an opportunity, if you love your body, if you can really wrap your mind around loving your body, you would be surprised at how many people you are now giving permission for them to love theirs.

 

I have a really..I’ll tell you a quick story. We went to a water park with a mom friend of mine, who has a great, adorable little body. Just the kind that I would just kill for. Just this tiny little adorable thing and she was complaining that she had a little bit of flab on her belly that no body else could see. I looked at her and said, “You know, I’m really angry at you for saying said that, because if you can’t accept your beautiful body, how in the world am I suppose to accept mine?” And in that moment it dawned on me that there may be other people looking at me and thinking that if I can’t accept my body, how are they suppose to love and accept theirs?

 

I realized it was a butterfly effect. We not only owe it to ourselves to love and embrace our bodies, but we’re giving other people permission, we’re paying it forward, we’re starting a positive effect for all women to love the shapes of their bodies. It’s important for not just you, but for your contribution to society to love the way you are.

 

Rosemary:

Yes. Love yourself, your body, who you are inside and out. Ally thank you for being on here, it was wonderful having you, you can reach at Ally at http://allyloprete.com/ and you’ll get all the links that we talked about in our show notes. This is Rosemary with Motivating Other Moms.

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